


I Have A Choice (And I Choose You)

by SpicyPepper_SweetSugar



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Deckerstar - Freeform, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Inside Lucifer's mind, What happens between 2x10 and 2x11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-06 02:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8730592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyPepper_SweetSugar/pseuds/SpicyPepper_SweetSugar
Summary: "It was bloody ridiculous.
Of course it was, because what else had he expected?
He hadn’t expected anything at all… Or had he?"
Starting where 2x10 ended, inspired by some short scenes from the promo for 2x11. Lucifer's thoughts after his mother and brother reveal to him that Chloe is supposedly his miracle and what that might mean for him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Lucifer (and Deckerstar) fandom! This is my first time writing for Lucifer and it's an idea that just kind of came to me when I watched 2x10 and the promo for 2x11. I don't really know what this is, but I do know that I had to get it out of my head. Just wanted to say that I know that in the promo it's clear that someone walked in on them, whereas in this story, I decided to change that (which you'll read for yourselves). Anyways, there is a slight risk that Lucifer might be a bit OOC in this one. I'm still trying to figure out his character in terms of writing him, but this is meant to be a trial run, I suppose, hahaha!
> 
> So, I hope you enjoy this mess of words and remember, all mistakes are mine (because I'm sure some sneaked in there despite me proof-reading it...). Be kind and enjoy. :) xx

#  I Have a Choice (And I Choose You)

* * *

It was bloody ridiculous.

Of course it was, because what else had he expected?

He hadn’t expected anything at all… Or had he? Was there some part of him that had hoped for something to happen between them? That he could look her in the eyes and tell her that he chose her; that he wanted to give this - whatever  _ this  _ is - a genuine shot? Had he been expecting that things would be as simple as to tell her the honest to  _ God  _ (He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the thought.) truth? That he had never met anyone quite as extraordinary as her?

Had he actually been expecting that things could be so simple, that he would just be able to stop talking and look her in the eyes and feel her fingers brush against his own as she reached for his hand? That unexplainable rush that went through him when she told everyone in court that he wasn’t a liar, despite his own mother trying to paint him as one? What had that been?

And then the phone call from his brother. The one that had interrupted him from closing the distance between him and the Detective. The one that had pulled him out of his own daze and made him realize that he had been about to…

Had he truly been about to kiss her?

Or better yet, had  _ she _ been about to kiss  _ him? _

And then she had been the one to pause and she told him that she should get going; that she should go home to her daughter because it was getting late.

He had wanted to protest, but how could he do that without making it sound like he was desperate for her to stay?

(He might have been hoping that she would.

But he would never be desperate.

Or at least he didn’t think so, because how could the Devil be desperate?)

She had left and he had stayed for only a few more minutes, contemplating the exchange of words, the hand-holding and the almost  _ something. _

Lucifer sighed to himself, sending a message to Amenadiel that he would meet him at his apartment.

* * *

“All right, Brother,” Lucifer said as he entered the apartment, clapping his hands together. “What can be so important that you had to pull me away from-” He cut himself off as he finally noticed his mother standing next to Amenadiel, with her hands clasped in front of her and a severe expression on her face. “What are  _ you  _ doing here?” he asked, because after everything that had happened, his mother was the last person he wanted to talk to.

“Lucifer, dear,” his mother said, looking at him almost sadly. “I asked your brother to tell you to meet us here because we have something important to tell you.”

“I hardly think I that I wish to hear anything that you might have to say,  _ Mother _ ,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. He turned to Amenadiel and shot him a glare as well, because what was his brother thinking? Lucifer had no doubt that Amenadiel knew about what had happened today; how their mother had helped Chloe’s father’s killer get free and tried to make Lucifer out to be a liar in the eyes of everyone who had been taking part of the trial. He could hardly even look at him now, feeling betrayed once more, but when he turned around to leave, his brother spoke, making him stop.

“It’s about Chloe, Luci,” Amenadiel said.

Lucifer looked at him, “What about her?”

He looked between his mother and brother for a moment because neither of them said anything. His brother looked angry and disappointed, but he could have sworn that for just the fraction of a second, his mother’s worried gaze turned into a smirk.

“If you aren’t going to tell me, then I see no point in me staying,” he said, the threat that he would leave clear in his voice.

His mother finally took a step toward him, that look of concern once more on her face, the amusement from before gone. “It’s your father,” she finally said.

* * *

It wasn’t possible, what they were telling him. That his father had somehow known all along that Lucifer would eventually give up his role as the ruler of Hell to live among the humans. That his father had somehow made sure that Chloe would be born and that the woman would eventually cross paths with him and  _ change  _ him.

His mother talked and talked and Amenadiel stood there and interjected from time to time to try to convince him that they had all been played, Lucifer most of them all. They were laying out all the evidence in front of him and he felt his blood boil and his hands shake but he still couldn’t quite bring himself to believe it.

“You’re telling me,” he started, “that Dad knew that I would decide that running a bar in the middle of Los Angeles was more fun than being isolated in Hell? That he somehow planted Detective Decker into my life because he wanted me to… What was it you said?  _ ‘Rise again’ _ ?” Anger coursed inside of him with a mixture of something else.

“It’s no secret that you were always his favorite, Luci,” Amenadiel said. “He had to punish you, but he wanted to make sure that there was a way for you to return to The Silver City.”

“Through  _ her _ , you mean?” Lucifer nearly growled, something twisting in his gut. “I  _ chose  _ to leave Hell,” he said, “I  _ chose  _ to live among the humans. It was my choice to stand up against, Dad and then be punished by falling. It’s been my bloody choice all along, not something that he’s planned for!”

“Your father is all-knowing, Lucifer,” his mother said. “We’ve always been aware that he knows how things will happen before they do… That he knows how things will end.”

Lucifer shook his head, a smile on his lips at the absolute ridiculousness of it all. “What exactly are you saying then? That Father created Chloe for me, to what? Fall in  _ love  _ with her?  _ Redeem  _ myself somehow?” he questioned. Their silence made him want to throw something. “I am the Devil,” he said, walking towards them dangerously slow. “I was cast out of Heaven for having an opinion, for having  _ free will _ . You’re telling me that I’ve never had anything at all and that it was all some grand scheme of Dad’s?”

Amenadiel took a step toward him, “We’ve all been his pawns, Luci. Do you know how it made me feel to learn that he made me bless Penelope and John Decker in order for you to eventually meet Chloe? I feel used and-”

“Oh boo-hoo, Amenadiel,” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Always the victim, aren’t you? Always a pawn in someone else’s game? Tell me, Brother,” he said, “why don’t you ever just own up to your own mistakes? Humans have flaws, who is to say that angels don’t too? Because frankly, we seem to fall quite easily for supposedly being perfect.”

It was harsh and he knew it but he wasn’t one to pull punches. He had been getting along with his brother well enough and despite wanting his mother to stay on Earth and be punished there instead of Hell, Lucifer couldn’t help but feel betrayed that his brother continuously took their mother’s side. He could see that his brother had been affected by his words, although Amenadiel didn’t speak.

“Lucifer, it isn’t your brother’s fault that he feels betrayed,” his mother said and Lucifer couldn’t help but glare at her too. There was something in her voice, always the reassuring one, always filled with  _ reason  _ that he was now beginning to believe might have always been a load of bollocks.

Empty words and mind games was all she was about.

“What are you expecting me to do now, Mother? Now that you’ve opened my eyes to Father’s supposed plans?” he asked her.

“We can use Chloe,” his mother said. “If you show your father that you reject her and everything that she stands for, then we can use her to get to the Silver City.”

“Reject her? May I ask just what it is that she supposedly stands for?” Lucifer glared.

“Your father’s control over you,” his mother told him, her eyes once again getting that glint in them. “Reject it and use her to get back to Heaven. Use her to give us all a chance to get back home.”

Lucifer turned on his heel, ignoring his mother’s voice call after him. There was a pain in his chest that he had never felt before, and when he had wanted to tell her that he didn’t need Heaven anymore, he hadn’t been able to say a single word. Instead, he figured it was better for him to leave before he did something he would regret.

He had a lot to think about.

* * *

He sat in his car and drove around for a while. There was no way to stop his thoughts from coming and going, always returning to what he should do. Lucifer thought about what his mother and brother had told him; about Chloe being a part of some bigger plan and that his father had intended for the two of them to meet.

If she was really supposed to be a miracle,  _ his  _ miracle, then he wasn’t really sure what he  _ wanted  _ to do.

Since the moment that he had met her, he had known that there was something different about her. He had questioned then whether she had been sent by his father, but there had been no way to prove such a thing. She wasn’t a fallen angel or celestial being and he had seen time and time and again that she was human. If his father had truly blessed Penelope and John Decker, then he must have helped create Chloe and he had clearly given her the ability to stand against his charm and powers. Had it all been a ploy on his father’s part to make Lucifer’s interest in the Detective grow?

The only thing he knew for certain though, was that Chloe Decker had no idea about any of it. She didn’t know that she had supposedly been created for Lucifer and she most certainly didn’t believe Lucifer whenever he tried to tell her that he was the Devil. Since she didn’t know about any of it, he knew that she couldn’t by any chance have agreed to play along in the scheme. If anything, it meant that what had almost happened earlier tonight had been because she too had wanted it to happen. The Detective was headstrong and determined and Lucifer knew that there was no way that he or anyone else could be able to bend her free will.

He recalled how he had begged his father to save Chloe’s life. What had that meant then? Had Chloe never been in any danger because she had always been protected by his dad? Lucifer hadn’t known it then. He hadn’t known any of it, and yet he had still ended up praying for her life to be spared. She had become his partner before she had become his friend and before she had become something more. It was just recently that he had started to look at it differently, or at least realizing that he was (and maybe had always been) looking at her differently. Maze had told him so, Linda had too… Even his brother had said it, long before he had learned the truth about who he had blessed all those years ago.

Chloe was human, still, no matter what divine intervention had helped her be created. Humans had free will and she  _ chose  _ to be his friend and partner.

It was up to him now.

Lucifer had always believed that he had a choice in everything he did. If he accepted Chloe for what - for  _ who  _ she presumably was, then he was accepting, in a way, the supposed gift that his father had given him. Someone he was meant to care for; someone who was meant to care for him.

Someone who was meant to be with him.

The mere thought of it made him angry because it was supposed to be his own decision. His father had never been clear about anything at all, always leaving things up for interpretation. It had caused wars among humans and now, it was raging inside of Lucifer too.

What should he do? Reject Chloe to spite his father, or choose to explore the recent development between them? Caring for her didn’t mean that he had to love her. They could be partners and friends and he knew that it would be enough for him, as long as she was still there; as long as she believed in him.

He had put her first on more than one occasion and it was more than he had ever done for any other human. He had been willing to return to Hell, all so that she could live when he had thought that she would die at the hands of Malcolm. His father had allowed him to return to Earth too and now, Lucifer couldn’t help but wonder if it had just been about him taking his mother back to Hell.

His mind kept going back to free will, the one thing that had made him fall in the first place and the thing that he valued above all else. Everyone had been created and allowed to lead their own lives, so why not him? He had fallen eons before Chloe had been born, millions and billions of years before. His free will had always been there and it had allowed him to leave Hell, he knew it. So where did his own mind end and his father’s plans start? Would he ever be able to distinguish the two?

Did it even matter?

If Chloe truly had been created to complete him and make his redemption possible, was he supposed to fight it? His mother wanted him to, but recently, everything his mother wanted only ended up giving him more problems. He wasn’t sure if he believed the stories she had told him about why she had been cast out of Heaven by his father. There was more to it, although there was no way for him to get the truth out of her.

Lucifer pulled over, closed his eyes and momentarily put his forehead against the steering wheel. He understood that his father might have had a part in Chloe’s creation, though he had to believe that it would ultimately be up to the two of them. The attraction had been there since the beginning, as well as his curiosity about her, how he wanted to understand what it was that made her special and why she was the only one who made him vulnerable.

How she was the one who made him mortal, making her his weakness.

But she was something else too.

He had known it all along and no matter what his mother or anyone else told him, he still knew it.

* * *

Lucifer looked down for a moment, his thoughts still flying around in his head. He didn’t want to think anymore, but it was difficult to let go of the newfound knowledge about the Detective. Still, he knocked on the door.

It took a moment for it to open and he wasn’t surprised to see her in the same clothes that she had worn during the day. She wouldn’t be sleeping much tonight, considering the way that the trial had ended.

“Lucifer?” Chloe frowned, opening the door further so that he could step inside. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay with your brother?”

Lucifer nodded curtly, walking past her as he listened to make sure that her child wouldn’t come jumping out at him from behind a corner. “Everything is fine, Detective,” he drawled with a smile as he looked at her again. “I was hoping to speak with you.”

“Sounds important,” Chloe stated, but he could tell that there was something on her mind as well. Was she thinking about earlier tonight?

“Is your offspring asleep or…?” he trailed off when he saw the smile playing on Chloe’s lips. He knew that him calling Trixie that didn’t mean anything anymore. The child wasn’t actually  _ that  _ horrible. How could she be with a mother like Chloe?

“Yes,” Chloe said with a nod, closing the door. “Maze is out somewhere too… Do you mind coming to my room? I don’t want Trixie to wake up.”

Lucifer couldn’t help the way that his lips curved into a smile. “Detective, are you propositioning me?” he teased.

Chloe rolled her eyes at him and gently smacked him on the arm as she walked past him toward her room. Lucifer followed, his smile still there.

Yet again, Chloe closed the door once he was inside her room and he took a chance to look around. It wasn’t exactly a mess, but it wasn’t the tidiest place either. There were papers scattered on her bed, confirming just what he had suspected all along. She had clearly been going over the case again.

“So,” she said after a moment, as if she had been letting him take in her bedroom. “What did you want to talk about?”

Lucifer straightened, although the strange feeling in his gut that he had been growing accustomed to having in her proximity was making it a bit difficult for him to focus. “I just wanted to make something clear,” he said, swallowing down the feeling. Chloe raised an eyebrow at him but nodded for him to continue. She crossed her arms over her chest and he wondered what was going through her mind then. Could it be that she was worried about what he was going to say to her?

“It has come to my attention that some of the things that I’ve believed to have been my own choice, haven’t been,” he said, meeting her eyes. “I won’t go into too many details, because I know that you wouldn’t believe me if I did, Detective.”

“Lucifer, what’s this about?” Chloe asked, frowning at him now. “You’re not making any sense at all and usually, I at least have an inkling as to what you’re talking about.”

“Free will, Detective,” Lucifer said. “ _ That’s  _ what I’m talking about. The ability for people to make a choice of their own. The concept of not having someone else plan out their life for them. The fact that I want to have a  _ choice. _ ”

He breathed heavily and Chloe let her arms drop. She looked at him and stepped toward him, but he stood frozen. He wasn’t ready to show her who he truly was yet. He had never pretended around her but actually  _ showing her  _ would take some time for him.

“Lucifer, of course you have a choice,” she said, her eyes showing nothing but earnest. “You will always have a choice, no matter what anyone else tells you.” She reached out to him with her hand, but he grabbed her by the wrist, stopping her from touching his face. He needed to  _ know  _ for sure that he had made the right decision. Looking at her and the worry spreading on her face, he recognized that it was nothing like the concern that his mother had shown him earlier. It could be because she was a miracle, or it could be because she was simply herself, but Lucifer knew that just like him, Chloe Decker didn’t lie and she didn’t pull punches. She believed in what she was telling him and she did care for him and that would be enough for now, no matter what the future might bring.

He loosened his grip on her wrist, letting their hands fall slowly, his fingers trailing over her skin until he could clasp hers. Looking down at her, he took a step closer, her hand coming to rest in both of his as his thumbs brushed over the back of it. She looked up at him, her eyes widening slightly for just a moment because she clearly didn’t know what to think.

“I have a choice,” Lucifer said slowly, repeating the words that she had told him; the words that she had made him believe. “I have a choice, and I choose you.”

He allowed the words to hang between them, the silence not feeling like a void that needed to be filled. Instead, it was comfortable and he felt Chloe’s other hand come up to hold his. He understood that she might not fully understand what he was saying, but he had to let her know because there would come a day when she would. Her hands felt warm on his before she slowly let go of him. Lucifer opened his mouth, but his protest died on his lips as Chloe stepped into him, her arms wrapping around his waist. His own arms opened up and closed around her as he pressed his cheek to the top of her head. He could feel the shudder that ran through her body and he was certain that he was close to trembling too with the realization of what his feelings for her might actually mean.

They pulled back a bit and Chloe looked up at him, craning her neck so that she could smile. He noticed that her eyes had teared up a bit and it confused him, but he wasn’t about to ruin this moment that seemed to be defining, somehow. He raised his hand and rested it against her cheek, thumb stroking over the slight blush that had spread there. It fascinated him, much like everything else about this woman, no matter if it had been his father’s plan all along. She was extraordinary and it didn’t matter whether she had truly been made for him or not. He had a choice and she was it.

Chloe’s mouth fell open, but she paused. Lucifer blinked a few times when he saw something red drop from her nose. He went cold as Chloe pulled back from him and raised her hand up, gently touching her nostril only to pull her hand back to see it painted with blood. She let out a shaky breath and Lucifer felt the panic rise inside of him when the blood kept trickling out, dripping onto the floor and the mat and down her arm as she pushed past him toward the bathroom. He followed her, heart sinking like a stone into his stomach as he watched her desperately try to stop the blood flow.

“Something’s wrong,” Chloe said, her voice trembling as she turned to him, panic in her eyes. “It won’t stop.”

He walked up to her again, eyes moving over her face as he tried to figure out what to do. Could his father be this cruel? To have him make a decision and then take Chloe away from him after all? Or was there something else at play? His thoughts flittered briefly to his mother and he knew that she had a hand in this. She had told him about Chloe and how she wanted him to reject her, but Lucifer knew that it had only served to make him more adamant about accepting her. 

It was  _ his  _ choice and he  _ chose  _ her.

He chose her and he wasn’t going to let anyone take her away from him.

“You’re going to be all right, Detective,” he told her, his hand resting on the back of her head as he stroked her hair gently. “Chloe, you’ll be all right, I promise you.”

She looked up at him, tears still in her eyes as she nodded, her breath still shaking. He wasn’t sure what was happening but he was going to find out. The Detective believed in him and he had just made her a promise.

And Lucifer Morningstar might be a lot of things, but he was not and never would be a liar.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there's that. This is meant to be a one-shot and I actually have no idea what will happen on the show, which is why I decided to end it the way that I did. I hope it was okay though and it would mean a lot to me if you shared your thoughts.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! :) Lots of love! xx


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